Coach Trip II

Morning Miss Jones, lovely day, nice shorts! You OK? Migraine, oh dear. Good idea to wear dark glasses. You should eat some breakfast though, the buffet’s great. Come on through. Well just coffee then. Yikes!! Yes, that must have hurt your head, do they normally cheer like that? I’ll get you some coffee. Morning Victoria, you’re looking perky. Is it fattening? Thanks, but I need all the energy I can get. Is she? We all have quiet days, don’t we? There are plenty of cushions about, Victoria, she can have three if she wants. It’s a bit early for so many questions, have you got your breakfast? Then go sit down please. Now. That was quick.

OK EVERYONE, TWENTY MINUTES AND WE’RE AWAY!
Sorry Miss Jones.

***

Everyone in? Just need to wait for Miss Jones, she wanted to pop into the shop for some last minute supplies. Serina, is that your bag? Can you put it in the back please, there’s no room. There isn’t. I’m not aware of giving you “the look”, whatever that may be, can you shift it please. No, I’m not picking on you, no-one else has a bag here have they? It’s nothing to do with your nose ring, I quite like it actually. Would be much improved with a smile underneath. Well, that didn’t work. Don’t throw the bag down the – good grief.

Kylie, you’re in the wrong seat, aren’t you? I have forgiven you, but I like a spare seat next to me. For sleeping. Who says they are softer at the front? Hmmm, seems they are. OK, we’ll swap. I don’t need the microphone Lauren, I’m not a tour guide. Fine by me, but no singing, I need some sleep. OK Miss Jones? Careful on those steps. Yup, dark glasses can make it tricky…Serina!! Don’t barge past. I am not bullying you, young lady. Look, I’m going to the back now, just wake me up when we get there…

***

Hey everyone, lunch stop! Thank God. Yes Sandra, pick up your lunch and go where you like – BUT NOBODY BY THEMSELVES. Back in forty minutes. Not you Serina, you’re staying on the bus. You know why. The driver didn’t think it was funny, he’s gone straight to the loo.Yes, a sincere apology would help a lot, I’ll let you know when I hear one. Perhaps it is illegal imprisonment, not sure. Your dad’s lawyers are probably very busy people Serina, I doubt they’ll be interested. You’re looking much brighter Miss Jones! There’s a coffee place down by the water. No, I’ve not seen your water bottle. Shall I have a look around while you’re away? I better stay with you-know-who…Serina, if you’re that unhappy do you want to try again? Make sure you catch them up. Good heavens, very nearly a smile. Pardon me Miss Jones? Not exactly water…sh**.
Sorry Miss Jones.

***

Anyone seen Kylie or Sandra? I was going to ask if anyone seemed unusually loud and giggly, but that’s obviously a waste of time. How about sleepy? Yes Indira – who’s dopey? Snow White’s pal. Funny. Might be a good idea to say something sensible at this point, really quickly. Perhaps your memory would be better back on the bus. OK,OK…I do believe you, sorry. Sandra! Where’s Kylie? That’s a surprise, didn’t see her as a bookworm. There’s a “fit dude” working there. Right..I think. Blimey, she’s only been off the bus thirty minutes. No, no problem. Your chirpy face says all is well.

***

Yes, I am a bit annoyed Victoria, how did you know? Deep lines on my forehead, I see. No, the driver won’t be able to drive for quite a while. Not sure how he came to drink it. I’m just going to try and work out how long we have to wait, with Miss Jones’s help. Yep, we are going to be very late. I don’t suppose you know how it came to be in his cab? Don’t panic!! You’re not on the list of suspects. You get an instinct for these things, Victoria. No, there isn’t a real list.

***

How much vodka Miss Jones!! That’s going to be five or six hours. Guess we will have to have dinner here. No, the bar isn’t open yet, Miss Jones. Actually…that about does it. Do you remember that bench by the lake? Yes, by the spur. Go and wait for me there please. Yes, right now. I know you’re not Kylie, she has more sense. Yes, it does mean what you think it means, judging by the fact your hands are on your behind. That’s not a problem, Miss Jones. If anybody is walking by they will see a very irresponsible teacher bending over and having her bottom soundly caned. If you’re lucky none of the girls will be out that way. With those shorts they are certainly going to be able to see the results, anyway. Anything else you want to ask? That’s good. I’ll just see if I can find a nice whippy cane, see you in ten minutes…